In Like Spin

Everyone is in the lobby and waiting for the last class to finish. The music is loud outside, where I am, but louder inside the closed off room. I lock my stuff into a closet and step over a few people trying to avoid eye contact. I am getting second thoughts. The last time I was here, I was hungover and thought I could manage because the room is dark. The front desk person told me that I couldn’t go back inside after puking in their bathroom which was presumptuous of him. I hate it every time I go, just like I hated hot yoga but the feeling you get afterwards makes it worth it. That’s what everybody says.

The goal isn’t to lose weight, it’s to be a part of a weird, cult-like atmosphere where someone is yelling to you through a microphone in a dark room with very loud music playing. The music is so so loud. It’s overwhelming. Or I’m old. I sometimes have a hard time hearing the instructor because it’s so loud but the point is mainly to pedal and not necessarily follow along with the rest of the class. So long as you are moving, your purpose is fulfilled. I get lost often. My rhythm is off. Nothing makes me feel more rhythmless than being offbeat in a room full of toned, athletic bodies that are moving in sync to a remixed Taylor Swift song. Some of these people are definitely not good dancers.

Some people cheer, some people close their eyes and wave their white towels, surrendering to the instructors’ prompts to “Celebrate yourself! You made it here today and that is EVERYTHING!” My friend, an avid spin person, smacks her handlebars in time with the music. It’s wild and unprompted for her but I can’t stop thinking about it until much after the class is finished.

I wish I loved my workouts as much as my friends like spin class. I wish I wasn’t so averse to the over stimulation of the music and the under stimulation of the lights being lowered to almost pitch blackness save for a few candles. It is the most bizarrely nuanced and ridiculous workout I’ve ever done and I still buy packages regularly. I have lost no weight. I just like the feeling of being there and the feeling I get right after I’ve left.